August 16, 2006
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something right. – Anonymous
“You must pay taxes. But there's no law that says you gotta leave a tip.” - Morgan Stanley advertisement
As a non-Denverite I get perty tired and sometimes even mad when the Denver media refers to John Hickinpoopin as “The Mayor” and to some Mike Booble Bobble as “The Superintendent of Schools”. Doesn’t the press, both written and television, know that there is more to the metro area than Denver? Don’t they know that Jefferson County Public Schools is larger than Denver Public Schools? That there are more folks living in Jefferson County than there is in Denver County (‘ceptin for about 28,000 folks that sneaked in for the 2003 count). That the dining in Belmar will KICK ASS over any equivalent area in Denver or anywhere else for that matter? Don’t they know that the median family income is about $20,000 per year higher in Jeffco? I could cite facts like this all day, but you get the point. And what about Adams, Arapahoe and Douglas counties? Add those other four and there are five times more folks there than in Denver? But nooooooo, this is all about Denver.. Bah humbug!
I spend a lot of time searching the web, not only for my tax practice, but also for data for this column. I recently uncovered some information that you might find useful. From the Q & A section by the folks that make Listerine® who care about your health. Pay attention now.
Listerine PocketPaks® are kosher, LOL this is good. Is Listerine PocketMist® kosher? No.
Is there alcohol in Listerine PocketPaks® oral care strips? No.
Is there an age restriction for Listerine PocketPaks®? Listerine PocketPaks® are a cosmetic product and do not have an age requirement. Parents should use their judgment when giving this product to a child. The carrying case may present a choking hazard and should be kept away from young children.
Is there an expiration date for Listerine PocketMist®? In the U.S., Listerine PocketMist® is regulated as a cosmetic so it does not require an expiration date.
Is there an expiration date for Listerine PocketPaks®? In the U.S., Listerine PocketPaks® are regulated as a cosmetic so they do not require an expiration date.
Is there aspartame in Listerine PocketPaks®? Aspartame is used as a sweetener in FreshBurst® and Cool Mint® Listerine PocketPaks®. Aspartame is not an ingredient in Fresh Citrus and Cinnamon Listerine PocketPaks®.
Is there fat in Listerine PocketPaks®? No.
Is there gluten in Listerine PocketMist®? Gluten-containing ingredients are not added to Listerine PocketMist®.
Is there gluten in Listerine PocketPaks®? Gluten-containing ingredients are not added to any Listerine PocketPaks®.
Is there sugar in Listerine PocketPaks®? No.
Wow. Wasn’t that fascinating? I suppose you want to know more about other products that you find in your home, perhaps some of which you might believe to be edible. Like Listerine®. But, since the Homeland Security folks have decided this is now a dangerous product and you cannot take it on an airplane as a carryon item, I think I will not say anymore cuz an Air Marshall may seize my computer as a dangerous object. Perhaps even a weapon.
I just returned from the First National Hamburger Festival in Akron, Ohio. I was only searched three times before they let me on the flight back to Denver. Of course the last searcher didn’t bother to close my backpack, so I lost a box of tissues that fell out while I raced to get to the gate on time. To me “on time” is two hours before the scheduled departure. Sometimes I get to the gate so early my luggage makes an earlier flight and is waiting for me at my destination. Which is good cuz then I don’t have to wait for the 47,003 pieces of luggage to be unloaded at the same time as mine.
The security folks at DIA found a “mini weapon” in my backpack, something I forgot to toss into the checked luggage. But they were nice and allowed me to mail it back to myself. Which I did at the USPS facility at DIA. But of course the package arrived ripped open and postage due. Didn’t get no mini weapon and paid twice for it. Ain’t that grand?
You’ll hear more about the bugger fest in a few weeks when I get all my notes organized, but I do want to report that the Food Channel was there taping a full day, and I, the only judge from Colorado, was actually taped. Of course the chances of none and me being on the actual telecast when and if it appears is slim. But it was a lot of fun.
I only consumed (in my two-day visit) 28 half-pound buggers. Well, not completely true. I ate eight buggers and tasted, as a judge, a bite or two of another 20. There were some very good ones and some rather disgusting ones. But all of that will be in this column coming to a theater near you very soon.
I’m not very happy with Frank Bonanno these days. Frank is the co-owner and executive chef of two new eateries on East 17th Avenue, Milagro Taco Bar and Harry’s Chop House (1700 Vine St, 303/399-1700; www.milagrotacobar.com and 2115 E. 17th Ave, 303/322-2425; www.harryschophouse.com). He also owns several other terrific eateries. Several of his eateries are always in the metro area Top Ten.
G and I decided to go to Milagro last week for dinner. I’d wanted to go for months. G is extremely allergic to cilantro, also known as coriander. I don’t care for the taste of it, and it numbs my tongue a bit, but G is in Big Trouble if she has any. So I called mid-afternoon to inquire. The hostess that answered told me that most of the dishes on the menu either didn’t have cilantro, or could have it prepared without it since they are all made fresh. I asked her to check with the kitchen and she did. Yep, with rare exception, not a problem. She lied. All the sauces had cilantro. Of the six dishes G inquired about, five of them had cilantro and, according to our W, no way to fix the dish without it. Oops. Now I look bad and G is mad.
But I was prepared. This had happened before at other restaurants. Knowing that Harry’s’ Chop House has the same ownership and is right next door, I ask our very nice W about getting a table there. “Not a problem”, he sed. Not only did we immediately have a table next door, but the manager from Harry’s came and escorted us to our table.
Harry’s was delightful, the food was mostly delicious, and our W was terrific. All her recommendations turned out to be very good. I wasn’t crazy about the lamb special; I found it somewhat flavorless, but it was very tender and prepared perfectly. G started with the phenomenal lobster ravioli (our fav at Luca d’Italia) and then devoured (lady-like of course) her Sterling Farms salmon, pronouncing it the best salmon she’d ever had. We’ll be back for more.
Ultimately all turned out well, but I was disappointed in not only the wrong information I got from Milagro, but the extensive use of cilantro. Next week I’m writing Part II about allergies in foods. I wrote Part I several months ago and I have more to say.
Cya.
In his real life Jay Fox is a CPA. He offers all kinds of good tax planning advice, financial calculators and the latest in tax news at his website: www.jayfoxcpa.com. He just writes this column for the money.