GOOD STUFF WITH BAD STUFF

November 12, 2005

  “When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.”

– Gail Sheehy

 

    WHAT IS IT IN OUR MAKEUP THAT tells us it’s OK to want good things, yet not pay attention to the accompaniments? Why do we sometimes we buy the cheapest product on the market, and other times pay top dollar for other products. 

 

I try to distinguish between something I care about and those things I couldn’t care less about. For example, we all remember when generic food products were on every shelf in the supermarket. You had Green Giant corn at the top of the cost spectrum, then you had some national label product along side it, S&W or something like that. Then there was the King Stoopers brand for a few cents less. Finally, there was the “generic” brand with no name, black and white label, and a variety of comments on the label. “The kernels in this can may be discolored, but they are of first quality.”  We don’t see those generic cans on the shelf anymore, but they're there in the form of Kroger brand, or some other private label house brand. They just don’t have the black and white label or the commentary anymore. 

 

We do even dumber things when we buy other food items.How many of us buy certified Angus roast beef at $9.00 a pound, take it home and put it on $.39 a loaf cheapo bread? Or maybe we do just the opposite. We buy a $3.00 loaf artisan bread, the best we can find, slice it thick and fill it with Spam.  

 

Restaurants do the same thing. My biggest complaint is, as most of you might guess, is with buggers. Had lunch in Cherry Creek Mall (America’s finest mall) at the Kona Grill (3000 E. 1st Ave, 720/974-1300; www.konagrill.com). They have a super good 14 oz  Big Kahuna Cheese Burger with certified Angus beef, caramelized onions, Swiss & cheddar cheese served with french fries ($8.95). What do they put it on? A lousy, falling-apart, probably frozen and thawed, cheapass bun. I have complained about this bun since the day they opened, but apparently not enuf folks have complained cuz it’s still being served. The french fries also suck, but I get the maaavelous Asian cole slaw instead. This may be the second worst bun in Denver. I would guess most buggers in this town come on cheapass buns. Why do they do it? 

 

In Blair, Nebraska, there’s a Conoco station (Petro Mart, 150 Eastgate Dr, 402/426-9150; www.petromarttravel.com/html/petromart1.html) on US Hwy 30. Cousin Allan refers to it as “Lean Cuisine”. They serve am outstanding hand-packed bugger, cooked to order, on a wonderful fresh crusty roll.  It’s only a 1/3 pounder, but it sure is yummy. The food court begins serving at 5:30 am Monday through Saturday. Hot case breakfast and lunch items, daily luncheon specials, deli sandwiches, pizza, and broasted chicken and made to order grill selections are available. All food court selections are available for take-out or can be enjoyed in the dining area. If they’d relocate to Lakewood, I’d be happier’n a pig in a poke.  

 

I usta bash Cold Stone Creamery cuz their ice cream is extremely expensive.  What you pay for is the smushing of the ice cream and the addition of all kinds of candies, sauces and other icky things that don’t belong in ice cream. Their ice cream is also the highest in butterfat of any commercial ice cream on the market that I know of, and that makes it sure ‘nuf good. I did solve my over-priced problem. Buy it in the larger containers and the price per cup goes down dramatically. I get the half-gallon. But when you go into store and get a dish if ice cream, what do you get to eat it with? A lousy plastic spoon. What a waste!  

 

Have you ever eaten in a really good restaurant, stuffing your self with house made mashies, only to realize that the gravy or sauce on top came from a jar or a box? Yuk!What about toast with your breakfast? G and I really like Sunday brunch at Opus Restaurant (2575 W. Main St, Littleton, 303/703-6787. The commentary sez Opus combines contemporary decor, old world charm, with cutting edge and award winning service. Critic’s quotes include "impeccable service" and "genius on the place". It may be the best breakfast in town. But the toast that accompanies the fabulous brunch entrees on Sunday is boring and cold.  

 

What is it about toast that no one cares, particularly the cook? In most eateries the cook doesn’t even deal with the toast. That’s a meaningless chore relegated to the W. It’s just a nothing side dish that sorta goes with the meal but not part of it. Baloney! I want my toast fresh and hot. I want real butter on it, not the melted crap that someone slaps on it after it comes out of the toaster. I also want it with the rest of my meal. Often it comes after the W has brought the rest of the meal and does the, “I’ll be right back with your toast.” Bah Humbug!  

 

My favoritist breakfast place in America, OPH (Original Pancake House), charges something like $3 or $4 for a side order of boring, cold toast. Such audacity! I guess they want you to eat pancakes instead but I don’t like pancakes. What about those wonderful Pepsi glasses in your fav sports bar? Plastic. Cracks running throughout it, you don’t really think it’s clean but you’re too nice to send it back? Give me a real glass, preferably clean, any day. 

 

FROM THE CLOSED LIST: Without any fanfare, Garrison Street Station (9199 W. Alameda Ave) closed its doors after thirty years of providing great grub to the neighborhood. I remember the good old days when it was OK to have a shooter at lunch. I usta head over there for a few drinks and a steak. One day I wound up downing eight brandy Manhattans and eating three steaks, all of this at lunch. This was the day I promised G we’d go out for dinner. Out we went, right back to GSS. I was in great pain. 

 

The Savoy in Berthoud has closed. This was also a great eatery that has served Colorado’s diners fine French cuisine for a dozen years or more. They will be missed by many but apparently not enuf. 

 

But on the “not missed” list is Go Fish Grille at 250 Josephine, the former home of Papillion Café for many years. That great eatery, owned by Radek Cerny, one of Denver’s greatest chefs closed several years ago so Radek could do something different. Now you can find his great grub at L’Atelier (1739 Pearl St, Boulder, 303/442-7233). G and I were there several weeks ago and blown away by his tremendous food. It reminded us of his original eatery, European Café, In Boulder. Large plates, good-sized portions, very reasonable prices, stupendous food, but that old Radek trademark: potato, potato, rice, potato. Sure hope you like starches.  

     Cya.

In his real life Jay Fox is a CPA. He offers all kinds of good tax planning advice, financial calculators and the latest in tax news at his website: www.jayfoxcpa.com. He just writes this column for the money.