DINING WITH THE DEMS

The best number for a dinner party is two - myself and a damn good head waiter." - Nubar Gulbenkian

May 19, 2004

BOSS JODY SEZ it's time for the state conventions of both the Democrats and the Republicans, and with so many burning issues, I thought I'd propose a menu for each party for a dinner for the nite before. One might even refer to it as the Last Supper. But first, I've been saving some really bad jokes for just such a moment. Y'all know what a Democrat is? Someone who believes you don't have to fool the people all the time, just during the election campaigns. And a Republican? Someone who can give you his complete attention without hearing a word you say. Democrats are like an iceberg: ten percent visible, ninety percent submerged, and one hundred percent all at sea. Republicans, on the other hand, work up their gums at election time and gum up the works forever after. Now let's eat:

I hope none of you get too full over this magnificent meal, cuz you do have lots of serious work to do tomorrow.

ANYONE CHEAPER THAN A LEGISLATOR? When the call came in from the waitress at a Capitol Hill eatery, complaining about how cheap legislators were, leastways when it came to tipping, the staff went to endless bounds to get the facts. We spent weeks (almost 1/47003 of a week) interviewing legislators, restaurant owners, waitrons, marines, disk jockeys, hair stylists (who knows more about everything?), shoe salesmen, piano tuners and even a few restaurant patrons. One of my associates, Three Way Latrec, came up with about 40 reasons in less than 15 minutes; I think she's been eating with some of them gavel-grabbers. Her comments sounded like sincere, first-hand experience to me. So here are the facts, nothing but the facts:

Top Ten Reasons Why Legislators are Lousy Tippers

Once our creative juices got stimulated, we came up with dozens more reasons, but all this of course is not really true. Legislators don't pay for meals, lobbyists do. And most of them are very generous tippers. One lobbyist asked if "tips" weren't something that you gave to nosy journalists. Boo.

DINING IN PUEBLO. Since the Deliteful Dems will be dining in this, one of muh fav cities, I thought I'd share some of muh fav dining spots.

LA RENAISSANCE
217 E. Routt Ave - 719/543-6367
Still the best eatin' in all of Colorado. When you consider ambiance, service, food and value, they just don't come any better. The dining emporium run by Jim and Bob Fredregill (Jim's the significantly older fella) since 1974 is still Numero Uno. The finest steaks, slooo-roasted prime rib, baby-back ribs, chicken, seafood and more. This year muh favorite is lamb. Lamb anything they serve is fantastic. They've added lobster tail and a flatiron steak to the menu. All dinners are five-courses: cheese ball appetizer, unlimited bowls of house-made soup, fresh salad, entree, choice of dessert, and coffee or tea. Folks, it don't get any better'n this. Service is fantastic: efficient, warm and friendly. It's also the pertiest set of rooms in town. Call 4 reservs. Visit them at www.menusfirst.com.

GIODONE'S HOUSA PASTA
23344 Hwy 50 East - 719/542-9751
Home of The Big Dog, great pasta, super meataballs and the best sausage grinder around. It even came on a bun that didn't fall apart as soon as it got soggy. Giodone's also does whole messa stuff at the state fair. It's all great eatin' and smooth slurpin'. They even do yummy steaks.

LA TRONICA'S
1143 E. Abriendo Ave - 719/542-1113
This popular dinner-only neighborhood eatery is a remnant of the steel mill community it once served. Really not much more than a bar with a back room, you get the feeling that this place typifies the businesses of yesteryear: good people doing hard work. You also feel that you're welcome here. In 1943 when Pete La Tronica opened this Italian eatery, customers came from the steel mills down the street. Known for large portions of pasta and other fine grub, they also do steaks and other American fare at fair prices. Try the veal parmigiana, the meat lasagna, or the infamous fried chicken. Yo!

GUS'S PLACE
1201 Elm - 719/542-0756
During World War II, Pueblo's steel mills employed as many as 10,000 workers. Today they employ less than 2,500. Folks don't consume near the gallons of beer or eat near the food they did fifty years ago, so that the restaurants that catered to the steel mill trade either closed or attracted new business. But across from the steel mills they served for years, you can still get a Dutch lunch and a huge mug of beer for a few bucks. I finally made it to Lil Gus's at the fair last year, and they cooked me a mighty fine medium-rare bugger. Yo!

JORGE'S SOMBRERO
1319 E. Evans Ave - 719/564-6486
This super Mexican eatery is large, spacious, airy, and clean. Food and service are first rate. Start with chicken quesadillas. Then choose from an elaborate menu of traditional and un-traditional fare, such as a bowl of menudo, or chicken and avocado tacos. A house specialty, pork & avocado burrito comes with pork meat and avocado, smothered with chile and served with rice and salad. They also do lotsa American fare, including buggers and steaks. Don't ask the waiter if the hot green chile is really hot. Take my word for it: it's hot. It's yummy, but you gotta wear a turban.

THERE ARE A MESSA other good eateries that I only have room to mention, but all have good reps. Martinez Cafe (408 N. Santa Fe, 719/543-9690) is home to many locals and offers quality food and good service. The sopaipillas are unusual and super delish. Gaetano's (910 Hwy 50 West, 719/546-0949) is classical Italian cuisine as well as steaks and seafood. The Do-Drop-Inn (1201 S. Santa Fe Ave, 719/542-0818) serves one of Colorado's finest pizzas. Famous for its honey crust pizza, the place is nifty, the food maaavelous. They also do breakfast. Be prepared to wait cuz the kitchen tends to be slow. Issa nice place. They have a second store at Pueblo West and both menus are on-line at www.menusfirst.com. The best green chile in town is supposedly at Rita's (302 N. Grand Ave, 719/542-4820). Tony Ianne has two fine Italian eateries: Rosario's (2930 N. Elizabeth, 719/583-1823) and Whiskey Ridge (4333 Thatcher Ave, 719/564-8551). You gotta try the all- ya-can-eat lunch buffet with yummy pizza at Rosario's. He's recently opened a new steakery next door to Rosario's: Tony's Chop Shop (2930 N. Elizabeth, 719/744-0414), featuring chops, steaks and prime rib. Give them a try.

And finally, there's Willie's Pit Bar-B-Q (1123 West 13th, 719/545-9338). Still ain't been but gonna get there one of these days. Hear tell he's closed for a month or so for pit cleaning. It takes about two weeks for the pit to cool down enuf soes he can get it cleaned. But the BBQ ain't to be missed.

MISSING from the list this year, sadly, is Nathan's Famous. The hot dog king found that Pueblans are not hot dog lovers, so they closed their doors in May. So sad, too bad, someday in Denver…

Cya.