REEEEBBS AND BUGGERS AND LETTERS AND STUFF


"Do you hunt your own truffles, or do you hire a pig?" - Conversational icebreaker suggested by Jean M. McClatchy

March 17, 2004

FOLLOW-UP ON Mel's and the WFF. This morning it was reported that Mel Master, proprietor of Mel's Restaurant and Bar (235 Fillmore St, 303/333-3979) had replaced the general manager at Mel's with Marco Colantonio who will serve as a consultant, but will oversee the entire operation. Among other fine eateries, Marco ran Tamayo, one of Denver's finest restaurants specializing in Southwestern fare. While I'd like to think I had something to do with it, you and I know that the power of this column is two points lower than the IQ of a dart. I do know that Mel is one of the classiest guys I know. (See related story and letter from Mel Master, Colorado Statesman, March 5, 2004) As reported in that earlier column, there have been problems at Mel's. I hope Marco will make the changes necessary to return Mel's to its prestigious position it has rightfully earned for most of the ten years it's been in business.

As to the WFF (The White Fence Farm), I've received about 20 e-mails (rumpgap@aol.com) from readers, most of which had echoed my negative comments about the food and service. One I gotta kick outta was from the Big City Attorney who wrote, "It's the worst place I ever ate at. The place is overrun with mangy farm animals." Then there was the reader who lives nearby. She asserted that the problems are really with the coyotes who have moved into the area immediately surrounding the WFF and who "probably got into the hen house and scared all the meat off the chickens". And who's howling wakes her family constantly, usually about 1 am. But on the other side of the coin was the reader who chastised me for abusing the joint. This reader was upset cuz "White Fence Farm is like Casa Bonita; it's for the kids. It's where Granny takes all her grandchildren to the petting farm and to see the animals. No one goes there to eat." Well, chuckle chuckle grin sneer, pardon moi! I see the resemblance now that it's been pointed out to me. High prices, poor service, lots of tourists, mostly gummers and rugrats, lots of entertainment. Altho I must say that the food is really good at WFF, albeit they're being stingy with the chicken, unlike Casa Bonita. But if you do the cost benefit ratio, they may come out about equal. OK, WFF is the new South Lakewood Casa Bonita. Yeah! I knew we could salvage something if we all worked together.

ON THE WHAT'S NEW FRONT. There are at least two new upscale steakeries coming to town, just what we really need.

The first is John Elway's new restaurant to open in North Cherry Creek. The names of Tom Moxie (Rock Bottom, Walnut Brewing, Old Chicago, Diane's To Go) and Tim Schmidt (Black-eyed Pea, Hacienda Colorado) are in the mix. Should be one fine steakery.

The other is the upscale sister of the fabulous Outback Steakhouse, called Flemings Prime Steakhouse and Wine Bar. Founded by two high-powered veterans of the restaurant industry. Paul Fleming (P.F. Chang's and others) and Bill Allen (Koo Koo Roo, Marriott, and more). Come on in guys, the water's just fine. By the by, Del Frisco's Double Eagle (8100 E. Orchard R, 303/796-0100) is now open for lunch and I am told serving one hell of a bugger. Gotta get there and check it out. While not my personal fav, this place gets the best reviews of all the upscale steakeries in town. Course that's before Capital Grille hit town back in November. Time will tell.

JUST GREAT EATS. Contrary to popular belief, I do eat during tax season. I actually eat more, tho not necessarily better, than I do outside of tax season.

First off, we have a full kitchen in the office. There's a full size fridge/freezer, an old but efficient microwave oven, an over-sized toaster-broiler, a blender, a coffee maker and all the accompaniments: cutlery, plates, cups, etc. I cook fresh buggers, buffalo buggers, elk buggers, hotdogs (the Best) and lots of other stuff. Right now there are pork tenderloins marinating overnite in garlic, white wine and Zesty Italian dressing. They will be baked tomorrow to a perfect medium-rare using muh old bud, Patty Schwayder's maavelous preparation instructions. At any given time there are a dozen tuna sangies wrapped and ready to eat-on-the-fly, all sorts of sausages and lunch meats with at least four varieties of breads and rolls on hand (God, I hope Dr. Stan isn't reading this). We even have two salads on hand right now ready to eat (if and) when the mood strikes us. Four different kinds of ice cream in the freezer. Do I dare mention the bowls of candies, the jars of cookies or the tables full of pastries and chocolates that are replenished almost weekly? We may work hard but we never worry about starving. Oops, almost forgot. The fridge is constantly stocked with everything the PepsiCo folks produce plus muh special Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge soda. There's also a wide assortment of "other beverages" for our clients. Musta left something out.

But there are lots of eateries I've been too during the past six weeks since the crunch began, Here's a partial list. Jonny Pastrami (7405 Grandview Ave, 720/338-1195. The best tuna sangies and the best breakfast burritos in town. Damn good pastrami sangies.

And there are two Mexican eateries. The first is Jack 'N' Grill (2524 Federal Blvd, 303/964-9544). Man, it's tuff pickin' the best Mexican fare in town. But this is Albuquerque style and there ain't no better even in Albuquerque. Remember that this place is on John Lehndorff's and my Top Ten Bugger joints as well. Yeah, buggers in a Mexican eatery, Go figure. Had lunch there today with Dapper Dan and he went bonkers over the biggest bugger he ever ate and for a mere four bucks. But the Mexican fare will blow your mind. The carne adovada quesadillas are spectacular.

Equally as good but different cuz the food is more what we in Denver consider traditional Mexican fare is Gregorio's (1910 Wadsworth Blvd, 303/462-2400. With fab food including the best guac in town. This is G's current fav. She orders the maavelous pork carnitas with sliced spuds every time. They also have the biggest and loudest mariachi band (Thursday nite 7 - 9 pm) in town. You gotta try this place out.

Both of these fab Mexican eateries are owned and operated by the nicest people you'd ever want to meet, and that makes it extra special when you go.

To much gabbbin. I travel to Alamosa, the centerpiece of the gorgeous San Luis Valley, each month during tax season to see clients and dine royally. Last visit I had Zee Best Babyback Reeeebbs (Southern talk for ribs) I've ever had, with the finest sauce I've ever had. I don't even like sauce on BBQ. But at the Outhouse 'N' (three miles east of town, 719/589-4708 the ribs are UNbelievable! I've never seen so much food on one plate since I left Churchill, Manitoba, Canada in 1961. They also serve the biggest damn bugger I've ever had. I don't know what it weighed, but it was impossible to lift it with both hands. Had to cut around the outside with a fork, and ate off at least three inches on all sides before I could fit the bugger into my mouth. All the dinners and sangies come with them real good greasy fries...don't know how they do it. Cheap prices too. They got one hellacious Prime Rib dinner. And some super-size steaks.

That reminds me, next time I'll tell ya what McDonald's told me to do about my complaint about killing the super-size fries. They weren't nice.

Well, outta room now, but next column I'll fill y'all in on the rest of the "Tax Season Stuffin' and Slurpin'". Back to Alamosa next week for some more reeeebbs.

Cya.