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When I wrote my first column in 1988 for the then Green Mountain Gazette, later to become the Lakewood Sentinel, the intent was to write a factual report about dining while injecting a sense of humor in each. After all, if we can't take a moment and laugh at life each day, what's the point? My then editor, Bob Cox, is probably the finest writer I know. He saw even more of life's lighter side than even I did, and reflected his wonderful sense of humor as he edited my column and fixed my typos and grammatical screw-ups.
I think I truly believed that there was no such thing as perfection in a restaurant, that 100% customer (or dining critic) satisfaction was not attainable at any meal, that there was always something to find fault with. That was and is the curmudgeon in me. Most of the times I still believe that, but once in a while I let the restaurant "off the hook" and I say nothing bad. And that ticks off my readers. Lately I've been told that I don't find enuf bad restaurants, or at least bad things to say about restaurants.
Well, it's not that I haven't found any bad restaurants, it's just that I've chosen not to write about them. That's partially due to discussions with several other dining columnists over the years about the need to write bad reviews at all. Some say that readers want to know where to eat, not where not to eat. But I maintain that if a writer doesn't comment about some hot dining place cuz the writer thinks its bad, then how does the reader know not to go there? But alas, after too fairly recent meals at too very well-known restaurants that were, shall we be kind and say less than satisfactory, I decided it was time. Time for me to be me and say they sucked. So here I go back to my old ways. Yours truly, No More Mr. Nice Guy, is back!
Let's start with the White Fence Farm (6263 W. Jewell Ave, 303/935-5945). There's another one somewhere in Illinois, but I don't know diddly squat about that one, ceptin' they're both listed on the same web page. But the one in Lakewood has been around for as long as I can remember. And I came here in 1971.
Those of you who have driven past WFF in the last several years have noticed the construction and the building of homes and a retirement community surrounding the White Fence Farm. Some of these homes sell for close to a million bucks, so I ain't looking. So now I wonder if someone from the Charles Wilson family cares more about selling homes than they do about serving food. But then the food has been going down hill for many years. I have a note in my computer from 1992 that sez I'd better not say bad things about this place or every gummer in town will be on my back. But after the dinner the family and I had, and recent reports from readers and clients, I decided to tell all.
I remember being upset with WFF many years ago over their closing for the month of January, After all, they're open a whopping 32 and 1/2 hours a week the rest of the year and that must really tire out the staff. I'd like to take a month off from work after an average non-tax season 60-hour week, but I've never figured out how to tell my clients. I thought government workers had it made. And WFF doesn't even do lunch. But that doesn't bother me. It's the poor service, the outrageous prices, and the small amounts of real food that bother me. And the charging for refills on the already over-priced soft drinks.
The current menu boasts, for the specialty family style farm chicken, a mere $12.75. That's per each and every person. Lemme tellya folks. They give you lotsa bad bean salad, ok coleslaw, cottage cheese (whoopee!), pickled beets that no one in their right mind eats, corn fritters (served cold) and whoopee doo farm made gravy. And spuds. But chicken? Yeah, there was chicken. Not a lotta chicken. Not enuf for my family. No seconds on the chicken. And very little white meat chicken. Shucks, the food filled me up so, I went home and had a tuna sangie. And a steak. And a bowl of ice cream. Never did find the damn farm where they make the farm chicken!
Our young servers were pleasant enuf, but not efficient. When we asked for more water, we had to ask three times. When we asked for more anything we had to ask several times. It even took forever to get the check. And if you ain't real hungry, for a mere $8.45 you can have an entire meal...sans the entree. Duh?
The menu sez they "use a special and complicated cooking process..." Maybe they could use an easier process and give us more chicken? Or they could order in from Boston Market.
Then there's my usta-be favorite eatery in Cherry Creek. I really luv Mel's Restaurant and Bar (235 Fillmore St, 303/333- 3979). Mel's has been a Denver landmark since 1994. Mel and Janie Master are two extremely talented individuals, Janie being one of the finest chefs anywhere. But methinks no one is watching the store anymore, at least not the store at 235 Fillmore Street.
On three recent lunch-time visits I had servers who really didn't want to serve me or the folks I was with. I don't know if there weren't enuf servers to serve the dining room or they just didn't want to serve us. I constantly had to chase our waitron to bring something, either another tod for the bod, a soft drink, bread or our meal.
On my last visit, GM (Mel and Janie's son) Charlie Master was in attendance. But that didn't help the 14 minutes (yes, I timed it) that I had to wait for someone to greet me, bring me water and take a drink order. This was about 15 minutes before noon with only two or three other tables occupied in the restaurant. So what was the staff doing? Playing poker in the kitchen?
The usual chasing of waitrons for something was the order of the day. But the ultimate insult was the luncheon special of the day, a shrimp dish that took it's name from the size of the portion. There wasn't enuf food on the plate to feed a Beta fish. And the shrimp would have been rejected by Red Lobster. Yeah, it tasted OK. But not great or even real good, just OK.
The past few years have seen changes regularly in the Who's the Chef? department. Maybe that's the reason for the kitchen short falls. But who's running the front of the house where Mel usta keep a watchful eye on everything? And now Charlie is going to be running his own restaurant around the corner, so who will be watching Mel's front of the house now?
Perhaps the fact that Mel and Janie are spending more and more of their time on other business ventures has led to what I perceive is gross mismanagement. There's no excuse for poor service in this restaurant. These are supposedly professional waiters, waitresses and cooks who know their trade. And it better change fast.
Cya. |
