CALLING ALL COWPOKES

"Knock the horns off, wipe its butt, and slap it on a plate." per the lovely W at the Desert Sage Restaurant, Crestone, Colorado

COME ONE, COME ALL to the 97th running of the National Western Stock Show. If you ain't ever been to the granddaddy of 'em all, this is it. This is the place to bring the rugrats, er, lovely children, to see every farm animal your child has ever heard of, or at least most of 'em. The rodeo is the bestest in the westest. And the food...lemme tellya.

First off, Kevin McNicholas of K & M Catering, is absolutely the most deliteful man you'll ever meet. Second, he's the best dang cook in town. What he does to a prime rib, or beef tenderloin, or anything else his talented hands touch, is amazing, I know. I've tried. Even the BBQ brisket he serves is the best you'll ever eat. Even better than G's and that's hard for me to say cuz she makes one fantastic brisket. Of course it was my recipe.

K & M Catering operates concessions for a great number of public venues, most notably the Denver Zoo, as well as a bunch of other zoos and facilities around the country. But this is World Headquarters and this is where the master hangs. And just in case, he has a super fine staff that has been with him for many years, so when the boss plays (if ever) the show goes on.

All the food at this year's NWSS except that in the Coliseum is managed by K & M. That includes all the food in the Expo Halls, the Hall of Education and the new Events Center. The food in the Coliseum is managed by ARAMARK and is operated by a variety of vendors with excellent credentials. I'm going to give you the highlites:

In the Events Center you'll find most kinds of fair fare: hot dogs, pretzels, pizza, cotton candy, beverages of all kinds, buggers, brats, nachos, chili and more. There's a Tony (barf) Roma booth serving BBQ beef and ribs, pasta and other side dishes.

In the Expo Halls there are complete dinners at the Bar and Grill as well as a variety of fair fare at many stands throughout the halls including LeeAnn's Candies and Nuts.

For the bulk of the sit-down dining, head to the north side of the Hall of Education. From west to east first you'll find the Feedlot Butcherblock Cafe with an all you can eat buffet starting at 11 am. Next door, in the center of the north side, is the Cattleman's Collection Grill, a full-service cafeteria serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. The grub includes beef, pork, chicken, buggers, brats, hot dogs, salads and desserts. At the east end of the cafeteria is The Bar and Grill where prime rib reigns king. There's a 16-oz cut (just enuf for a snack for moi) at a modest $19.95; for those with a lite appetite there's a 10-oz cut ($16.95). If you're real hungry, try the 20-oz T-bone ($24.95) or the monster 22-oz Stockyard Strip ($29.95). Also on the menu here is Pasta Primavera ($13.95); a half chicken ($13.95); a prime rib sangie ($12.95); and for the wusses, a Cobb salad ($10.95). There is also a kiddie menu for the youngsters. Tucked in at the west end of the Bar & Grill (come back about 100 feet) you can get a bag of 13 bite-size donuts for two bucks, Yo!

Also in the Hall of Education are a half-dozen sites where you can find anything else you want to eat or snack on including some mighty fine Old Tyme popcorn. And there's another Tony (Barf) Roma's serving BBQ sangies.

In Stadium Hall you'll find more of the same fair fare including some maavelous fresh squeezed lemonade, limeade and tangerade to wet your whistle.

In the Stadium Arena, the fair fare goes crazy, with all the above plus a Kansas City Fudge Factory, giant cookies, cinnamon rolls, turkey legs, brisket platters (by K & M) , buggers and dogs and lots more.

Even outside on the north side of the Hall of Education there are food vendors; most delish is the Colorado Steak Sangie. There are also breakfast burritos, muffins, pizza and more fair fare.

In the South Food Court on the south side of the Hall of Education is more grub including buggers, dogs and other snacks, and an Old Tyme Kettle Korn fella with what else but Kettle Korn and stuff. And a messa connected stands operated by Jack McBurney which includes funnel cakes, corn dogs, nachos, and frito pies.

Across the street, in and around the Wonderful Coliseum, there are a host of other concessions including more hot dogs, buggers, you name it, it's there. Of special note is ARAMARK's Soup Kettle, serving chicken noodle soup and clam chowder, and Old West's Steak on a stick, BBQ turkey legs and roast corn.

There's a whole mess more food in the Stockyards, but I ain't going over there, so I didn't try it but most of it is operated by Jack McBurney and that means its good grub.

Prices at the Stock Show are quite reasonable. A sampling: 1/4 lb. brats $3.75; pizza $4.50; 1/4 lb. hot dogs $3.00; cotton candy $2.50; 32 oz. Pepsi $3.50 (refills $1.75) and nachos w/jalapenos and stuff $3.75.

Enjoy the Stockshow. Let me know what you liked and didn't like. G and I and Lil Emma luved it all.

HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS. Never shudda mentioned Santa a coupla weeks ago in this column cuz the tele wrung off the wall about Santa and Xmas. Some liked my story, some didn't. Some thought I was not honoring the tradition of letting children believe in Santa cause "I saw him in a restaurant" and Santa wouldn't do that. Hmmm. Doubt too many children read my column. Shucks, doubt many adults read my column.

Anywho, the one I decided I needed to comment on was the call about the jolly Santa at the PetSmart located near Colorado and Alameda. Seems he was so jolly he probably was too stoned to drive the reindeer home. Reports are the stench was woof woof.

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK
If you ain't tried Ted's Montana Grill, you gotta... but if you have tried Johnny Rockets at the wonderful Colorado Mills Mall in Lakewood and you liked it, you are a sick person. I usta like it 'til they quit cooking buggers to order...tried the prime NY strip at Outback Steakhouse yet? It's a keeper... I'm on a new diet: MSI. Meat, Salad, Ice Cream. But Drs. Stan and Mark kiboshed the latter for a while. They're not nice to me.

Cya.